Love means not beating up on your spouse

caines | 8/16/2012, 5:30 a.m.

Do you remember those quaint little Hallmark cards that had endearing messages on them that helped you to express your feelings? They often had little Snoopy dogs or some other playful creatures on the cover. Sometimes there were words from the Bible. Whatever the backdrop and the words, it was clear that you were in love with someone so much that you believed it would last forever. Like in the fairy tales . . . happily ever after. So, its sad when we hear about folks like Chad and Evelyn, Miamis newest celebrity newlyweds who made it only 41 days before she filed for divorce following an alleged incident of domestic violence. Maybe theres something in the water. Perhaps some of our Black men have lost their ability to reason. Or it could just be that some men believe they have certain inalienable rights and privileges. Like beating on a sister when they get the urge. Or, as in Chad Johnsons case, head-butting your loved one because she caught you doing wrong. Domestic violence is a serious problem in our community. And there may be some valid reasons for that. Many of us are frustrated with the current economy. Some of us have lost our homes and jobs. There are families that have no idea from whence their next meal will come. On the other hand, there are those from the rich and famous like Chris Brown and Rihanna or Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozado. Whats their excuse for such violence? Heres the answer in a nutshell there is NO excuse. Whether you are rich or poor. We promise to love and cherish our significant others, our pookies, our betrothed, our lovers, our friends. But after the love is gone, or during those moments of irrationality and heightened anger, we need to consider that with every action there is a reaction. And that in life everything has consequences. Domestic violence may have been the norm during the days of Fred Flintstone and his comrades in Bedrock. But its nothing short of barbaric today. We must work to put an end to it in our community and send those who commit such acts to a place for healing and treatment. It is a sickness that we can and must eliminate.