- Faith & Family
In a tight race towards favor and good fortune, a hope, dream and promise is always running neck-and-neck with a wish. At times though, for a wish, winning is a bit more far fetched than the others.
When R. Kelly dedicated his hit song, “I Wish” to his deceased mother, I can personally relate to the heartfelt meaning behind the lyrics, although my mother is still alive. That song spoke the everyday words of my heart to the woman who is responsible for giving birth to me in this world.
For R. Kelly, wishing he could physically embrace his mother and offer her comforting words in person is something that may never be fulfilled – at least not in this life it won’t. But for me, there is still hope – being that my mother and I are only separated by freedom and captivity, and not by life and death.
Not yet has the chance of reuniting with my mother in the free world been taken away from me. I live, however, with the understanding that as I remain incarcerated, life for me or a loved one can suddenly come to an end at any given moment, and it is unknown when the end will manifest itself – before I am set free or afterwards. So, to wish for anything pertaining to the free world while in prison is like entering a desperate race against time.
Enough time must be given for me to someday get out of prison and help my mother escape poverty. Enough time must be given for me to repay her for all the long distance telephone call that she has accepted, all the encouraging letters I received from her, and all the far trips she made up the road just so that we could spend a couple of hours together in the visiting park.
And most important, I wish that I could somehow repay my dear mother for all the times that she has earnestly prayed for me, her wayward son. For without those prayers, I’m almost certain that the good Lord would have allowed me to destroy myself a long time ago.
Of course, I can not possibly enumerate the many blessing in my life that can be attributed to my mother nor am I even sure if I will ever be able to pay her back in full. I could only hope that if in the event my ability to return the love in exact is inhibited by death or anything else that may cripple my efforts, somehow God will make a way to reward her on my behalf.
But no matter what happens, like all prisoners doing time, living with the uncertainty of tomorrow, I will continue to make a wish for my mother until it is fulfilled or all hope is gone. And even then, just as the eternal absence of R. Kelly’s mother did not stop him from writing a beautiful song about her, I too will manage to find comfort in keeping a wish for my mother alive.
By Arthur Lee Hall, Jr.